


We'll Be Alright || Nct Dream

by jun_hui



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Bromance, Eating Disorders, Friendship, Insecurity, Loneliness, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-21 23:24:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12468300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jun_hui/pseuds/jun_hui
Summary: It was finally their 3 day break, but it turned out to be more exhausting than ever.





	1. 런쥔

Some nights I still hear your whispers  
And your memories they hang like a picture  
Some nights I still see your smile  
Your number I wish I could dial

**Before You Exit - Clouds**

~~~~~~~~~~

**"We'll** keep in touch, alright?" was the last thing Huang Renjun heard when he left his family at the airport a bit more than a year ago. With his career as a singer, he has taken many planes but that one plane ride on the 2nd of February 2016 was by far the worst.

That morning still lays fresh in his mind as if it was yesterday. Renjun remembers stepping into that plane as everything suddenly hit him and he felt his legs begin to numb.

_I'm leaving home._

And sometimes on nights like these, he wishes he never took that plane. And how can he, even when he has so many fans and members who love him, how can he still just feel  _so lonely?_

Sometimes he feels as if nobody cares, as if nobody notices he's even there. In a huge concert hall, with thousands of fans, Renjun still manages to feel so fucking alone. And it's that feeling that comes at him every night, tearing his heartstrings apart.

_Homesickness_

Making him wish he was back home _,_  in China. With his mom,dad and friends. He just misses everyone so much. He misses the smell of homemade food every night after he comes back from school. He misses going to school and having fun with his friends. He misses walking under the twinkling street lights. He misses the taste of street food. He even misses the Chinese alphabet he saw everytime he went to the city. Of course Korea also has twinkling street lights and street food but it isn't the same, it isn't home. Or at least, it isn't  _his_ home.

Renjun stares blankly at the ceiling of his shared room with Jeno and Jisung, tears slowly falling down the sides of his face. But he doesn't have the energy to wipe them, hoping that they'll just dry themselfs up.

Luckily they don't have any schedules for 3 days, so it isn't like he has to go to sleep early. Still, it doesn't look like he's going to get any sleep tonight again.

Renjun considers waking up Chenle to talk to him but one, he'll feel guilty for waking him and two, it doesn't seem like Chenle is really affected by homesickness so he won't understand anyway.

With no one to talk to, as he doesn't want to burden them, Renjun heaves himself up and walks quietly to the kitchen. As many of his members decided to make everything out of these short 3 days, most of them went home. Of course home for them is like 30 minuted away. Renjun begged his manager to go to China, since 3 days was enough to go there for a day and come back but he wasn't allowed. Neither were Chenle or Winwin.

As he reaches the kitchen he sees Jaehyun standing behind the open fridge, looking for something to eat.

"Hyung, what are you doing here? I thought you went home?" Renjun said with eyes half closed.

"Yeah I just came back, I had nothing to do there", Jaehyun said mindlessly, still looking through the fridge.

And again for the nth time this night his heart feels heavy. Why would Jaehyun just come back after a couple of hours if he had a whole 3 days to spend precious time with his family? But then he realises, Jaehyuns parents live literally 15 minutes away from the dorm. And he sees them so often already.

How Renjun wishes it was like that with him, how much easier everything would be.

"Oh, alright then..." Renjun trails off, looking for a cup to fill up with warm milk. Maybe he'll fall asleep faster (like his mother always told him).

"Why are you still up by the way? It's 3 in the morning already" Jaehyun says turning around to look at him, with a concerned face.

"It's nothing...just couldn't sleep" he mutters looking around for the clock, wondering if it really was that late. "Okay, but Renjunie remember if anythings up you can always talk to me"

"Of course I know that...it's nothing like that hyung" he lies not looking into Jaehyuns eyes, which are fixated on him.

Because he wouldn't understand anyway.

Saying bye to Jaehyun, he turns around leaving his now empty glas on the counter and walks back up the stairs into his room. When he opens the door, he sees that Jeno and Jisung are still sleeping deeply. Renjun flops onto his bed and sighs as his back and schoulders relax. Closing his eyes, he begins to count to 100.

1

2

3

4

5

6

_Beep beep beep_

Renjun groans, but not loud enough to wake his fellow members up. Still with closed eyes, he pats his bedside table in search for the machine making that noise, his phone. Not looking at the contact name he slides his fingers automaticly and answers "Hello?"

"Renjunnie? Did I wake you up?"

His eyes immediatly flew open to look at his phone, confirming the voice at the other side of the call.

Na Jaemin.

"No no I was still awake, why are you calling so late?"

Renjun hasn't seen his best friend in over 5 months, as he's currently resting for his injury at his home in Daegu.

"I...just felt a little lonely and I had a feeling you wanted to talk? Sorry if I sound weird but it's just..I don't know" Jaemin says as he stumbles over his words, pausing ever so often. At a loss for words, Renjun feels his eyes prickeling slighty again. He quickly closes his eyes and tells himself to man up and stop crying for God's sake.

At that moment he feels as if there really was somebody who cared, who wanted to talk to him, so he replies,

"How did you know, of course I want to talk"

And that's exactly what they did, not about his homesickness, no definetly not, but about all sorts of random things. They talked until 6 a.m. about the most random things just blurting out whatever was on their minds.

From unicorns to space mermaids, just letting their imagination running wild.

And without even realising it, that night turned into one of those night where Renjun didn't feel so alone anymore.


	2. 제노

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING; mentions of feeling dizzy and being sick, I will put stars around that area so if you're sensitive to that stuff you can skip it.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror  
Why am I doing this to myself  
Losing my mind on a tiny error  
I nearly left the real my on the shelf

**Who You Are - Jessie J**

~~~~~~~~~~

" **Get** up!"

Jeno is once again awoken by the sound of Mark's voice. Slowly, he opens his eyes and stares at the white ceiling for a couple of minutes.

But wait, isn't it their free day?

Jeno gets out of bed and is greeted with the sight of messed up beds. Where are Jisung and Renjun?

As he walks out of his room he sees that the door to Haechan and Mark's room was still open.

Jeno peeks through the gap and sees Haechan standing in front of the mirror looking at himself with his hands on his belly.

"What are you doing?" Jeno asks suddenly while opening the door fully. Haechan gasps and turns around with a surprised look on his face. Right before he gets to say anything...

  
"Jeno come eat breakfast, otherwise it'll all be gone!" Mark interupted from some other part of the dorm.

They both go to the kitchen to see plates of pancakes with the other members already eating. "Come sit here, there's still some left" Renjun says, patting the chair next to him.

After all the pancakes are gone, the members play rock paper scissors to decide wich unlucky pair will wash the dishes today. In the end it turned out to be Jeno and Haechan.

Here we go again.

Jeno's been doing the dishes for the last 3 days, which makes him think that the members rigged the stupid game.

"When will you stop losing?" Haechan asks while picking up the sponge and dishsoap. Which means that all Jeno will be doing is drying them off. Giving Haechan a small thankfull smile, he takes the towel and starts to dry the plates.

"What are you doing today?" Haechan asks after a long silence, seeing as they were both still quite tired.

"I don't know...I think I'll just go practice my dancing a bit."

"Practice? You do know we are free today right?" Haechan scoffs not believing that when they finally have some free time, Jeno wants to spend that practicing.

"What do you need practice for anyway your the best at dancing"

Jeno doesn't say anything and so they continue washing and drying the dishes in silence.

If only I really was the best

~~~

After Jeno changed into his training clothes, he puts on his trainers and tells the members he'll be back later.

Going out of their dorm, Jeno walks into the empty street alone. Luckily, the company was very close to the dorm so it only takes like 5 minutes to get there.

Passing by a store he decides to buy himself some cold water since he forgot his bottle at home.

Jeno turns to the company and enters the lift to the 3rd floor, where his favorite practice room was.

What would the others be doing now?

He wonders as he slowly begins to stretch with some music in the background. Usually while stretching, Jeno thinks about the mistakes he has to fix, but honestly there were just too many to count.

In the recent Music Bank performance my arm was a bit crooked.

Last Friday at the fansign I was a beat late.

At Show Champion I kept bumping into people.

Getting more and more angry at himself he stops stretching and goes straight into the choreo. He also remembers his dance teacher scolding him numerous times this last preparation.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Why do you keep messing up?"

"Is this all just a joke to you?"

But the teacher's words and his own, those he could still handle, it is the fans' reaction that keeps him up at night.

'Why does Jeno keep bumping into the others?'

'Smh, once again a useless visual'

'Imo Jeno rly doesn't deserve to be in nct, they'd be better of w/o him'

And Jeno still remembers just crying his eyes out for hours in his room after he read those comments.

He also remembers Haechan finding him and comforting him, that's probably why earlier he was kind of concerned about Jeno going to practice.

But that was in the past, and Jeno will not allow himself to be so bad, so untalented, so worthless.

And that's the reason why recently he has been non stop practicing. Even when promoting he finds the time to beat himself up even more.

Noticing he has been staring at himself in the mirror, Jeno slaps himsels back to reality and starts dancing the choreogrophy that's been engraved into his brain.

And so he just keeps on repeating and repeating and repeating until his legs literally give out and after 3 hours, he just sits on the floor completaly done.

~~~

The track starts again but Jeno can't hear any of it anymore. Hearing a loud beep in his right ear, Jeno starts seeing black dots, at first only faintly but they kept growing and growing.

It was as if the world was spinning, around and around.

*******

Beeping in his ear, his vision blackening, Jeno feels something coming up his throat.

Holding his hand to his month, he tries to stop himself and run to the bathroom, but he feels as if the whole world was weighting him down.

With no other choice, he quickly gets on his knees and hunches forward, the pancakes for earlier now lying on the floor in a disgusting oatmeal like consistensy.

Feeling his stomach turning around again, he turns away from the vomit and takes a deep breath. He crawls to the water bottle a couple of feet away and cleans his mouth, spitting it out on the floor.

*******

After what seems like an hours of just sitting on the floor and trying to even out his breath, Jeno finally stands up, one foot before the other.

He stumbles to the cupboard and takes out the mop, which he then cleans the now very dirty floor with.

Turning of the song which has been continuously playing, he looks at himself in the mirror. And he just stares.

At his pale lips.

At his sunken eyes.

At his very skinny body.

And without knowing, one single tear managed to pass by his eye and made its way to the corner his lips, the salty taste spreading around his mouth.

Wiping it away quickly, he finally picks up the phone call he has been ignoring during practice.

"What do you want?" Jeno quietly mutters trying to disguise his tired voice. Without even knowing who it actually was.

"What do I want? What do I WANT!?"

Haechan's voice boomed through the lonely practice room.

"Do you know how worried I was!? You've been gone for 6 HOURS Jeno, 6! I almost got a heart attack when you didn't pick up!"

Jeno couldn't speak. He was looking for words to say.

"I'm sorry" Jeno says, voice giving away at the last sylable.

"Just...are you still at the practice room?" Haechan says sighing.

"Yeah"

"Stay, I'll be right there" Haechan hangs up and all there is left is silence.

~~~

Jeno was laying on the floor with closed eyes when Haechan came in. Without words, he walks to Jeno, sits down next to him and puts his arms around his neck.

So that's how they spend the next hour. Just in silence, holding each other.

 


	3. 해찬

Mirror, mirror on the wall   
Ruthless to your victim   
Suiting you becomes my love  
Tied to my reflection

******Skinny - Edith Backlund**

~~~~~~~~~

 **Through** the mirror, there was a tiny voice, spewing out negative feedback every time someone stared at it. Or at least, that's how it was like in Haechan's case. This morning, the morning before that and probably even the next morning. Haechan hates that tiny voice.

Staring at his grim reflection, Haechan hears that ugly tiny voice again,  _"Why are you still so fat, just stop eating it'll solve everything."_ He sighes, and turnes away quickly, not wanting to repeat what happend yesterday with Jeno.

Haechan was really getting worried about Jeno, why was he practicing so often? He asked Jeno about what happend, but he just kept quiet.

Putting on something he hopes wouldn't make him seem fat, Haechan hurries downstairs. He had made plans with Renjun today, to go to the local fun fair.

As he got downstairs, he saw Renjun sitting on the sofa waiting for him. "Sorry, I'm done now" Haechan says, putting his left shoe on while sitting on the floor. "It's okay, have you eaten? We don't have to hurry" Renjun replies looking at Haechan. 

"Yeah, I ate breakfast" He lies, having eaten nothing since yesterday's breakfast. He wishes he also didn't eat yesterday, but everyone was there so it would've been hard to lie. 

As Haechan's stomach rumbles, he quickly coughs to cover it up. Not looking at Renjun, he stands up after tying his shoelaces and picks up his bag. "If you want, we can go right now, I've got everything."

Renjun then also stands up with his own bag already on his shoulder and they both head out the door. 

While walking on the street, Renjun and Haechan were both quiet, both caught up in their own world. Haechan looks down at his shirt and sees that his belly is somehow sticking out. Frowning, he sucks his stomach in and puts a hand on his belly covering it from the public. He then glances to his right, and is bombarded with pictures of perfect models and advertisements for plastic surgery. Which just reminded him of how he went to talk to the CEO yesterday.

___

"So, can I do it?" Haechan askes Kim Youngmin, the CEO of SM Entertainment.

"Why would you want to do it?" Youngmin replies, just moments before, Haechan begged him to take him to plastic surgery and skin whitening. "You know a lot of fans will notice the difference right?"

 _To make myself look pretty_ , Haechan thought to himself, but of course he said something different to the CEO.

"I read a lot of comments from the fans, they said that I should do it." 

Youngmin thought for a while, staring at the ground. It was 2 full minutes later when he replied, "No, they'll notice and a lot of people will blame me for forcing a child into surgery."

"But.."

"No means no, that's my final decision."

___

Shaking his head, Haechan notices that while lost in memory they have reached the fun fair. In spite of not feeling very well, he smiles. It's been a while since he's been to one, and he's ready to have some fun with his best friend. He and Renjun exchanged glances, and walk to the nearest rollercoaster. 

After 4 different rides, they decided to take a rest and went to get ice cream. "One strawberry ice cream for me please and what do you want?" Renjun says to the person behind the counter and turns to Haechan with a smile, who was staring intensly at the different flavors.

"I'll uhhh...I'll get nothing, not really hungry" Haechan says with a nervous smile, mentally rejecting the delicious ice cream that was luring him in. 

Even though he was really super hungry, lately he has been getting better at rejecting foods and lying to people about it. Saying he wasn't hungry or that he already ate. He even stopped drinking carbonated drinks, since he read that they had a lot of sugar that would make you fat, and that was a big no no.

"Okay...I'll buy you something later then" Renjun says and shoots him an unsure look, while paying and taking his ice cream. Saying thank you to the cashier, they both walk and walk untill they finally see an empty bench. Sitting down, Renjun turns to look at Haechan who was looking through his bag for his water bottle.

"Are you really not hungry, here you can have the rest" Renjun says holding up his ice cream that was half gone. Taking a sip from his water botle, Haechan shakes his head and pretends to be busy with his bag. He hears Renjun sigh and feels his eyes prickle. 

"Haechan.." 

"Why haven't you been eating lately?"

And there it goes, his secret was out.

"I just..I just don't feel hungry nowadays" Haechan lies, looking at Renjun, then at the ground and then to his left. 

"You know I'm not dumb right?" Haechan could hear that Renjun was beginning to get mad.

"You're always lying to me, stop lying Haechan. And why are you starving yourself for anyways?" 

Haechan hears Renjun picking up his bag angrily and loudly stomping away. " Wait, Renjunnie!" Haechan shouts looking at his retreating figure. He blinks his eyes a couple of times and tries to ignore the stares strangers are giving him. 

_Today was supposed to be fun_

And of course, Haechan was the one to ruin it all again. Renjun will most likely be returning home and Haechan doesn't want to face him right now so he decided to go take a walk at the park that was right by the fun fair.

While walking, Haechan takes out his water bottle and notices that it was already empty. Putting his thirstiness aside, he continues walking. Feeling a bit lightheaded he decides to stop for a while and goes to sit on a bench.

Suddenly, Haechan feels his head spinning and tries to stand up. All he remembers next was falling and a painfull feeling on the side of his head.

___

Beep

Beep

Beep

Opening his eyes slowly, Haechan is faced with a white room. Looking down, he notices that he is lying in a bed, with white bedsheets, which were not his own.

_Why am I in a hospital?_

Seeing something small stir out of the corner of his eye, he turns and finds Renjun staring at him with teary eyes.

"I'm sorry" they both mutter at the same time after a moment of silence. Renjun takes Haechan's hand and gives it a tight sqeeze.

Even when the doctor comes and tells Haechan he had fainted due to extreme undernourishment, Renjun was still holding his frail hand in his own.


	4. 재민

Alone in the dark  
Hole in my heart  
Turn on the radio  

**Another Lonely Night - Adam Lambert**

~~~~~~~~~~

 **This**  day began like any other, Jaemin woke up, he put on his clothes, washed his face and brushed his teeth.

It's been 193 days since Na Jaemin has stopped his activities as a member of NCT DREAM. It's also been 193 days since Jaemin has began feeling lonely.

Today, Jaemin will be going to the company to take his pictures and write his letter for his birthday tomorrow. He spoke to the CEO about it and said he wanted to give the fans an update about him.

NCTzen, he wasn't even there when they announced their precious fandom name. Lately the fans have been the only people to really make him happy.

His parents? They're family so it isn't really the same. His members? Jaemin hasn't seen any of his members for 5 months now. And it seems like they forgot about him.

Every time he turns on the radio, NCT's songs come out. Every time he turns on the tv, he sees his fellow members performing on stage. Every time he sees that someone is online, he can't bring himself to type.

And it hurts. Seeing them meet the fans without him. Seeing them perform without him. Seeing them have fun, without him.

Jaemin sighs, taking out his shoes. He wonders if he'll see them today. Will they even talk to him? As Jaemin wonders, he puts on his shoes at the same time and is out the door.

Even though he hates being away from everyone, this break has really helped him with his injury.

Back in February he couldn't even walk straight but now he's a lot better, even though it still hurts to walk. According to his doctor, he isn't well enough to dance yet. Which means he isn't able to join promotions again.

Stepping out of his father's car, Jaemin walks into the building and goes to the friendly receptionist.

"Hello I'm Na Jaemin I'm here for the letter and pictures."

"Ah yes, follow me I will lead you there" Jaemin follows the girl and is led to the familiar waiting room. Looking around, he realises how much he missed being in the company building.

Which is kind of ironic seeing that he yearned for a bit of sunlight during his trainee days. The staff helps him take the pictures and then it's Jaemin's turn to sign and write. While signing his second picture, he sees a group of people passing by the door. Paying no attention to it he focuses on the picture again.

Then, a couple of seconds later, "Jaemin!" He turns around and is suddenly taking into a group hug.

After hugging for a while, they pull away and Jaemin sees the smiling faces of his 14 members. And after a second of just staring the questioning breaks out.

"How have you been?"

"Are you still hurting?"

"Haven't you been lonely at home?"

Hushing his members, he answers all of their questions with a big smile.

"I've been well."

_Lie_

"No I'm fine now."

_Lie_

"Not really, I have my family with me so."

_**Big fat lie** _

Jaemin can't help the words falling out of his mouth.

No he hasn't been well, everything still hurts and he doesn't want to sit in silence any more.

But not everything you want comes true.

As the members run off to some schedule, Jaemin is alone again. With the staff gone and him being alone in the waiting room, Jaemin's eyes begin to water.

_Don't cry_

_Don't cry_

_Don't cry_

But his mind betrays him als the tears slowly begin to fall down his pretty face.

Wiping them away with his sleeve, he sniffles and focuses his eyes on the letter he forgot about. Finishing his letter with blurry eyes, Jaemin stands up, wipes his eyes once more and goes to the lobby to give the staff his letter and signed pictures. After saying thank you and goodbye he hurries outside and starts speedwalking towards the car. Once he steps inside he looks out of the window and tells his dad to start driving. Hiding his teary eyes, Jaemin starts to wonder if he'll ever be able to come back to the dorm. Even though he loves his family, the members are also like family and he just wants to be back with them.

After the 3 hour ride from Seoul back to Daegu, Jaemin runs into the house, up the stairs and shuts the door to his room with a loud bang.

Walking over to his bed, he sits down and looks at his hands, which are shaking.

_Why do I feel so alone?_

Back when he was a trainee, he used to cry because he missed his family and Daegu. And now he's crying because he misses his members and Seoul.

Scoffing at how ironic all of it was, Jaemin lies down and turns to his side. Facing the wall, he tries to clear his mind and go to sleep, since it was pretty late already. Without knowing, Jaemin's eyes begin to close as he slowly drifts to sleep.

Triingg

Triingg

Jaemin is awoken to the sound of a notification.

He turns around and picks up his phone. Turning it on, he squints his eyes at the bright screen.

**Jenojam has sent you a message**

Eyes immediatly widening, he opens the notification.

 **_Jenojam_ ** _\- hey_

 _**Jenojam** _ _\- it was nice seeing you again today_

Hi  - **Nana**  

Yeah twas nice seeing you 2 - **Nana**

 

 **Jenojam** \- how are you really holding up? You know i can see right through your words so don't even try to lie

like ive said jeno im fine - **Nana**

Jaemin finger hovers over the sent button, hesitating. Tapping his finger ever so lightly on the phone, the message is sent and Jaemin's heart begins to bonk in his chest.

 **Jenojam**  - of course you are

 **Jenojam**  - come on Jae your my best friend you cant fool me

 **Jenojam**  - youre lonely just admit it

Staring at the 6-letter word, Jaemin feels heavy and tries to come up with an answer.

so what if i am - **Nana**

 

It was the first time he admitted since he was sent home.

 **Jenojam**  - you know youre not alone right? We all miss you alot, especially haechan, renjun and i

 **Jenojam**  - you can always talk to me nana

Jaemin takes a deep breath, stares down at his phone and pushes the call button.

Jeno and Jaemin talked for a while, much like he and Renjun a couple of days ago. But this time, they were talking about meeting up tomorrow for his birtday.

Pushing the red button, Jaemin turns his phone off and closes his eyes. Taking one last big sigh, he drifts off to wonderland.

 

 


	5. 함께

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: the ages in this chapter refer to their international ages.

Just pick me up  
And never let me go  
We don't need much  
As long as we're together, together, together 

**Together - Martin Garrix**

~~~~~~~~

" **Together** , 1 2 3" the dance teacher yells and claps the beat in his hands.

There they go again, repeating the dance they just learned today. NCT DREAM were preparing for their comback, which would again just be the 6 of them. Mark looks at Haechan through the mirror and notices him looking at himself. Walking up to him, Mark lays a hand on his shoulder as if to say,  _are you alright?_

Haechan shakes his hand off, nods and walks to his backpack, taking out his water bottle. Mark probably thought he was tired from constantly being in 2 units, which just reminded him that they have another 127 practise after this one.

Which was technichly true, but Haechan's mind was filled with other kinds of worries.

Renjun keeps following Haechan with his eyes. He notices the way he stared at his reflection. He walks up to him, sitting next to him on the floor.

Taking out his Mars bar, Renjun holds it out to Haechan, worried he wasn't eating again. Glancing at him, Haechan lightly shakes his head.

"Eat"

Renjun orders him with a frown, forcing the bar of chocolate in his hand. Haechan looks at his hand, then at Renjun and slowly begins to rip the packaging open. Taking a small carefull bite, Haechan casts a smile at his friend.

Of course, while everyone else was resting, Jeno was repeating the choreography.

Sighing, he starts again.

Only this time with small, weak steps that were supposed to look like dance steps. "Hey stop dancing, come here!" Haechan shouts gesturing him to come over. Jeno considers ignoring him, but eventually allows himself to stop daning for a while. Sitting next to him, their thighs and knees touch. Looking at his best friend slowly eating, he throws the thought of practise away, for now atleast.

But soon, the practise started again along with Mark's orders about staying focussed. 

After they were all finished the other boys waited for Haechan and Mark while they started their 127 practise. Compared to Dream's practise it was shorter and less tiring, because they only needed to go over their current choreography a couple of times.

Throwing his shoes somewhere, Renjun steps into the living room of their dorm and flops himself down on their couch. Not even a minute later.

"Ooowwww!!!"

Haechan had apparently decided to just comfortably lay himself down on Renjun's small and tired body. Groaning, he tries to push Haechan off of him by pushing against his shoulders. Of course, that wasn't going to work. Giving up, he sighs and just closes his eyes.

As soon as they entered the dorm, Jeno speed walked into his room.  Fishing out his phone while lying down on his bed, he quickly opens the Kakao Talk app and goes directly to one specific person. 

Jaemin.

Opening their chat, Jeno starts typing with a small smile. 

_Hi -_ _**Jenojam** _

_When are you coming -_ **_Jenojam_ **

**Nana**  - hey 

 **Nana** \- idk i think ill be there by 5

Jeno lifts his head to look at the clock that is hanging above the door. It's thirty three past two.

Ok see you soon -  **Jenojam**

 **Nana**  - See ya

After turning of his phone, Jeno sits up and goes to tell the other members. Ever since he entered his room he heard loud groans coming from the living room. So the sight he is welcomed with is surprising but at the same time completely normal for their dorm. 

Haechan was lying on someone with his back against them. All you could see were skinny arms gripping Haechan's waist with the intention to throw him off. Of course it was Haechan's favorite toy, Renjun.

"Guys.."

"AHH, Haechan get the fuck off!!" 

"Kids, no swearing!"

"GUYS!!" Jeno yells out. Suddenly not even a breath was heard. Heachan finally gets off poor Renjun and smiles sheepishly at his friend. He ignores Renjun's complaints and stares at Jeno, awaiting his news.

Taking a deep breath he starts, "Jaemin will be here around 5 pm." And what else could he have expected. Immediatly everyone apart from Mark began panicking. 

"WHAT, we haven't even started preparing!" Chenle screams at Jeno's face.   

Mark immediatly steps forwards and declares, "Let's keep calm alright, Jisung, Chenle, clean this place up a bit. Donghyuck and Renjun, you guys are in charge of the food. Lastly Jeno and I will take care of the decorations and inform the other members."

And with a small wave of his hand, everyone rushes off to different parts of the house. The maknaes start sauntering to get the vacuum and a duster, while complaining of course. Jeno and Mark first called Taeyong to inform the remaining members of Jaemin's arrival. And Haechan and Renjun went straight to the kitchen.

"So, what else will we need beside the basic snacks, crisps and stuff?" Renjun asks Haechan, turning to face him. Haechan purses his lips, an old habit he does whenever he is thinking.

"Maybe a cake, you know it is a birthday party after all, and what bithday party doesn't have cake." He answers.

"But you know we'll have to buy two cakes right, with 18 members one cake is no doubt impossible.And what birthday party has two cakes, huh?" Renjun shoots back with a slight grin on his face. Haechan rolls his eyes and slaps his arm quite harshly.

"Well we'll just buy two cakes then is it that big of a deal, jeez."

Renjun childishly sticks out his tongue behind Haechan, who has turned around and was walking to the hall to put his shoes on. Luckily there was a cake shop 10 minutes from the dorm so they wouldn't have to walk a lot.

He puts his own shoes on while reciting all the things they would need in his head. And so both Haechan and Renjun were out of the door.

In the mean time, Jeno was busily trying to tie a balloon. He had only blown up 5 balloons but he felt as if his lungs were going to fall out of his corpse. Where his partner has gone, Jeno had no idea, all he knew was that his fingers couldn't cooperate today.

Only about an hour left.

Renjun and Haechan were still not back, Jeno hasn't seen Jisung and Chenle since they separated, He had absolutaly no idea where their leader was and Jeno was still trying to tie his 6th balloon.

Things were going great.

____________

Just when Jeno thought everything was going downhill, the door burst open. Renjun and Haechan had returned. But it seems they were hiding something.

Jeno stood up from the floor, that was currently covered with 17 red balloons. "Finally, I thought I was about to die from silence!" he spits out. "We've got a bit of a problem.." Haechan murmurs after a moment of looking at Renjun with hesitation. 

Jeno could feel his blood begin to boil, what could they have done now? He closes his eyes and sighs out loud. There was no response. He looks at both of them with an exhausted look. 

"What?"

"Well you see umm..."

"It isn't totally our fault I swear."

"Just spit it out already!" Jeno shouts having enough of their stalling. Exchanging one last look, Renjun whispers, if Jeno wasn't paying attention he would have never heard it.

"The cake accidentally says 'Happy 70th Birthday' instead of '17th'." 

"The shop owner must have misunderstood us, it isn't our fault really." Haechan quickly adds before Jeno could get any madder. Sighing once again, he reaches his hand out. They hand it over before they speed walk somewhere else. Jeno sets the cake down on the coffee table, not even looking at it. 

Half an hour left, there was no time to go order a new one. 

Renjun walks into the kitchen after his nerve wracking encounter with Jeno. But something didn't feel right. Where were the other? He's just seen Jeno and Haechan was with him. So where were Chenle, Jisung and Mark? 

"Jeno, where are the kids?" He shouts from his seat in the kitchen.

"No idea, Mark's also disappeared." Came the reply from the living room.

Renjun frowns and takes his phone out of his back pocket. He decides to call Mark. Letting his phone ring, after a while it turns into a beep. He tries again after a couple of minutes. This time he hears a voice at the other end of the line.

"Hello?"

"Mark, where are you, Jaemin will be here in half an hour!" Renjun utters loudly.

"Sorry, just got caught up. Johnny wanted me to help evaluating Jaehyun's fashion..it's a long story but don't worry we'll be there as quickly as we can."

"Huhh, alright just..don't forget!" He hangs up after his warning.  Now those brats, they were supposed to clean up. 

Renjun starts searching the house. They weren't in the kitchen nor the living room. They weren't in any of the bedrooms nor the bathroom. So where else could they be? The last room in their dorm was the laundry room. Opening the door, Renjun immediately closes it. Trying to erase the image out of his mind, he slowly walks into Haechan's room and lies down next to him. 

Haechan pulls his hand into his own and plays with his fingers. Haechan turns around and rest his head in the crook of Renjun's neck while still holding his hand. "You alright?" He whispers lightly into his ear. 

"Yeah."

This time it wasn't a lie, Renjun stills misses his family of course but he realised that having his members by his side was enough for now. 

"Care to tell me what's on your mind?" Heachan asks looking up at Renjun's closed eyes.

Renjun doesn't respond, instead he just rolls over, puts his arm around Haechan's waist and nuzzles his face into his soft hair.

  ____________  

Suddenly a loud bell wakes Jeno, who had fallen asleep trying to stick a balloon to the ceiling, Haechan and Renjun up. They both race out of their room and meet an equally alarmed Jeno.

Haechan mans up and walks to the door, with Renjun and Jeno close behind him. He twists the door knob slowly and pulls the door open. Can you guess who it was?

"JAEMIN!!!" Jeno pushes Haechan out of the way to attack his best friend who he hasn't seen in 5 months. Jaemin chuckles and hugs Jeno back tightly. 

"Wait why are you here so early?" Haechan asks looking around at the failed decorations and the failed cake still on the table. They weren't able to finish their surprise. "Oh who cares he's here that's all that matters." Renjun doesn't let Jaemin answer and squeezes him tightly. 

"But..." Haechan wanted their friend's return to be special, with a bomb ass cake, bomb ass decorations and with all the other members. But the cake says 70, there were currently only 3 ballons on the ceiling and no one was their except the four of them.

Jaemin just laughes and hugs Haechan with a smile on his face. He turns to his three best friends and says, "It's been a long time, I've missed you guys a lot." 

_It feels good to say that._

"Want to eatsome cake?" Jeno says with an awkward grin holding the cake up. Jaemin takes one look at the chocolate goodness and bursts out laughing. The others look at each other and begin laugh with him. 

The four leave the balloon mess in the living room and go to Haechan and Renjun's room. They lie down together on Haechan's small bed, legs and arms intertwined. Jaemin talks about his time back home and in exchange Haechan, Renjun and Jeno talk about their MFAL promotions. 

Jaemin laughes at the story about Haechan's failed rock paper scissors with Mark. He looks at the others and sees their laughing faces, he hasn't seen those in a while. 

Renjun listens to Jaemin's story about his family. And he doesn't even for one second think about his own.

Haechan takes a bite out of the delicious cake, while laughing loudly. Not caring about the amount of calories in it.

Jeno takes Jaemin's compliment about his dancing with a light heart. Not even denying as he says thank you.

But then suddenly a thought came to Jaemin's head, "Where are the others?"

They could hear their front door bang open, followed by-

"Is Jaemin here yet!?" 

There they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading through my first ever finished fanfiction, hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
